Hi, today, we’re going to talk about one of the best ways to build rapport with a girl.
So what is the best way to build rapport?
That’s a really interesting question. I’d say the best way is just to be completely open, honest and genuine, and curious about the person you’re talking to.
If we had just met, and I was trying to build rapport with you, I would be extremely curious about who you are? Where you came from? What made you the kind of person that you are right now? I would ask you questions to try and find that out.
A lot of people tend to find dating. They want to know what do we have in common? What are the commonalities?
The cool thing is, even with someone you have nothing in common with, you’ve shared some similar emotional experiences in life, and I want to try and share something with you to get to the bottom of that. It sounds complicated, but really the easiest way, that you do it, is to think your mind, “Who is this person in front of me? I’m fascinated by them.”
Usually when you’re in a conversation with a woman, and you’re trying to connect, you’re, in your head, trying to think about what you’re going to say next, and try to impress her, or come up with cool line, or be flirty, or witty.
It takes you out of your confidence, and it’s hard to really act genuine, or be yourself when you’re trying to impress somebody, or think about you’re going to say next.
If you can just remove all that and focus entirely on the person that you’re talking to, and only worry about them, and who they are, and what has made the person that they are, what makes them interesting, what makes them awesome?
Rapport just seems to flow naturally from that.
I find a lot of guys just get caught in this rut where they’re just asking questions. They’re not actually curious. They’re asking the same questions they’ve asked everybody else, rather than allowing their curiosity to lead the questioning.
If you ask someone a question, you should care what the answer is, and listen to that, and actually ask another thing that shows that you’re curious about what they were saying.
A lot of people when they get stuck, they’re asking questions, but then they just plow over the answer with another question, and another question. Instead of feeling like that person wants to connect with you, it feels like they’re just waiting for their turn to talk.
That’s so important. I don’t know if you guys are really hearing this.
I used to give this example all the time where, you meet a girl, you go, “Hey, whereabouts you from?” She goes, “I’m from Paris.” You go, “Oh, what are you doing here?” You missed the entire Paris conversation. There’s so many things you could be asking about Paris and you just brushed her over with, “Oh, what are you doing here, then?”
Guys do that all the time. You have to really follow that line of curiosity. That’s great advice for how to build rapport.
Maybe, for some of the guys who don’t understand what TAO of Badass is, I will explain just a little bit about the philosophy of it.
Essentially, what they do is, they take all this complex, crazy, dating advices. It all seems to be contradictory and fuzzy, and they put a solid system to it that’s based in psychology, based in experience, and a system that any guy can pick up and follow, even if he has no idea of what he’s doing from start, he will become really confident and attractive to women.
And it sounds like a really good way. If you really are confused about dating, and how to make it work, it just simplifies it into a really easy to understand.
If you’re looking for the first way of getting out there and trying to learn this stuff yourself, I would suggest it’s probably a really good way to get started. They do simplify things and make it really easy for you.
It’s really taking the system behind all the interactions that everybody has all day long, that’s going around you all the time, and explaining exactly what that is, and how it works. You’ll see it happening everywhere. People start to learn this and we say they’re seeing the matrix.
They’re seeing how everybody is interacting all the time. It’s actually, really obvious once you see it. If it’s something that feels vague, or weird, or new to you, it’s a really system to follow. Do this, then that, then that. Say this, then that.
All of the reasons behind it. The underlying meaning why it works, and why you’re doing this. It’s been really successful. I started out as a client, myself. It changed my whole life. It’s awesome.
It’s actually one of the most popular dating programs in the world. If you haven’t heard of it, you really need to check it out. I’m going to put a link below, so you can click and learn more about the TAO of Badass, and what they teach.